Broken Heart Cry Eye Draw

Lives were shattered for real on "So You Think You Can Dance," and for pretend on "Hidden Palms" and "Footballers Wives" last night. Either way, it was a good night for TV.

The hopeful hoofers on "Dance," who were whittled down to 20, included two anachronistic "lindy hoppers" who seemed like their parents kept them home and convinced them it was the 1920s, and a dancer with a prosthetic arm who was unbelievable. Also there was a sore loser. "I had to drag my partner around, and she got kept," he griped after a particularly sorry samba that got him booted. Then he did the "get that camera out of my face thing" that doesn't really make much sense, for someone who opted to be on a reality show.

Perky host Cat Deeley (pictured)

Sleeve, Shoulder, Human leg, Photograph, Joint, Purple, Shorts, Thigh, Violet, Beauty,

is perkier than ever, and judge Mary Murphy – really? She really needs to scream and squeal like that? The dancing's fun and everything but very little should get a person that excited.

The fake drama on "Hidden Palms" is entertaining in its own, special way. Also it's a lot like the fake drama on now-defunct "The OC," only located – and this makes it completely different – in Palm Springs. Get it? Two different shows. Same premise: Beyond the well-manicured lawns there's intrigue and drama, etc. etc. Johnny (Taylor Handley) is cute like Ryan, if a little squinty. The mysterious dead Eddie, we learned, killed himself. And Nikki, a girl Johnny dated in rehab (rehab! He's 16! I wasn't kidding about the drama) returned, throwing a wrench in his flirtation with local troubled teen Greta.

Oh, and Greta definitely had something to do with Eddie's death, along with bad boy Cliff (we know he's bad because of the music that accompanies him). I'm going to keep watching to find out because, frankly, I'm a sucker for this stuff. And yes, too old for this stuff as well, but I was too young to be watching "Melrose Place" and that didn't stop me.

It's the same hunger for badly acted soaps that gets me all psyched "Footballers Wives" is on again. The BBC America show's fifth season is just starting here, and features a spectacular array of hunky soccer players and busty babes.

P.S. – smut-wise, "Footballers" is tops. These are some lusty folks and the Brits aren't afraid to let them, you know, express themselves. This is the sexy show's final installment, so now's the time to tune in. Just make sure the kids are in bed. — Amy DiLuna

Trashy primetime soaps: Love 'em or leave 'em? Chat it out in comments.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io